Sexuality, Solidarity and Power
Why are patriarchal constructs still that active, if they make all people miserable, regardless of their sex or gender?
This is because of the inherent power of sexuality. A fully lived and satisfying sex life, which involves experiencing consent and fairness by all individuals involved, is the most powerful and direct strategy of mankind to experience their own vital force and to effect positive change.
But if this is the way to happiness, why is not everyone already doing it?
Because unsatisfied people, robbed of their power and vitality, are much easier to control than mature and vibrant ones who demand human rights and a suitable world for them and everybody else. The powers of the world, governments, organised criminals, banks, the super-rich etc. do not have an interest to produce mature citizens who might become aware of the unfairnesses in the distribution of wealth and actual participation in world politics and who might, on top of that, find the time, energy and solidarity to fight this system together.
What does fair sexuality and social solidarity have to do with each other?
A lot: The patriarchal constructs and the resulting confusion of sexual and romantic desires block a healthy realisation of sexuality. When one or more patriarchal constructs are active, it can never be clear for all individuals involved whether they are dealing with the fulfillment of a sexual or a romantic desire – because the associated activities, sexual or romantic gestures, are used in order to express other meanings than those which they actually convey. This form of communication is called secondarily motivated: Something is being said or done about what one wants to achieve – but what is actually said is something completely different than what the other person understands – or can understand, at all. With such confusion it is understandable that sexually closed romantic couples often distance themselves from a sexually open relationship, as it is never clear whether other sexpartners would simply like to have some fun and draw the line before disturbing the existing romantic relationship, or if some sort of competition is going to take place on the romantic level. If, however, the distinction between sexual activities and romantic activities is clear and the associated gestures are intentinally not used to initiate romantic activities outside situations involving a crush, a true wish for a romantic relationship or a love interest of any kind, a housewife might easily have sex with the postman for fun. Or a husband with the pretty neighbour. Or their friend with the housewife. Or the husband with the carpenter. Afterwards, everybody could look each other in the eye, tell each other how hot that was and everybody could be honestly happy for everybody else. And that is precisely the begin of solidarity.