How exactly does the patriarchal falsehood work?
Once activated, the patriarchal falsehood causes women to suppress their sexuality, since they are allegedly only
interested in love. Only during preparation or right in the middle of a romantic relationship are sexual impulses acted out. Any sexual attraction towards other people which only exists at the erotic level is rejected before oneself and others, in order to maintain the wrong idea that sex is exclusively wanted in combination with love. The erotic level, however, is the dedicated line to one’s own life energy. The suppression of this causes women to exhibit a certain social inertia when compared with men: On average women, more than men, tend to adapt to the values of others and maintain rigid and conservative systems; also, there are much fewer female artists than male ones.
Men manifest the patriarchal falsehood the other way around. They suppress their desire for empathy and love, in order to exhibit toxic masculinity with characteristics such as „indestructible, brave, emotionally distant, always ready sexually”, in order to fit into the social role „man”. They actively live the erotic level, but reject the romantic level before themselves and others in order to maintain their wrong picture of masculinity. As a consequence of the suppression of the romantic level, perceptions and activities related to topics that are not concerned with romantic relationships are also muted or missing completely. A typical example for that are men, who have suppressed their romantic level so much that they cannot even hug their best male friend in a way pertaining to the level friendship on the intimacy scale. The ability to feel and show empathy towards others suffers on all levels, from colleagues at work to going after or acting out a sexual interest.
A small reminder:
- The romantic level includes the sexual level.
- The sexual level, though, also exists independently without the romantic level.
For sex we need basic body hygiene, that everybody enjoys each other’s company, mutual consent and fairness towards one another. For a romantic relationship we need everything necessary for sex, plus being deeply acquainted with one another, mutual interests, trust, falling in love, and the desire to share as much as possible of one’s lives with one another. A romantic relationship thus has much more demanding prerequisites than casual sex. To find someone hot is rather simple in comparison to an honest attraction to the whole personality of a significant other that goes deep enough that falling in love and wishing for a romantic relationship becomes possible. Therefore the wish for activities at the romantic level occurs much more rarely than the wish for erotic activities – simply because, at the romantic level, much fewer individuals match than at the sexual level.
When the social roles of „woman” and „man” with their respective suppression mechanisms and wrong ideas encounter each other, their differences become obvious: Women seem to be more passive in the preparation of social contacts: Their wish for love, which may pass their internal censor unhindered, will simply find much fewer resonating individuals than their wish for sex, which is routinely repressed. Due to this suppression, individuals resonating on a sexual level are often not even noticed. Therefore, women have great difficulties to recognise individuals they are resonating with at a sexual level or, if such a resonance has managed to pass the unconscious censor, to take the initiative and get into contact with them. Sometimes, such a detection of an erotic wish takes a detour via the patriarchal falsehood: In this case, individuals resonating on the sexual level are falsely allocated as resonating at the romantic level (a „crush”).
Men, however, seem to have no problem to occupy and hold social spaces: Their wish for sex may pass their internal censor unhindered, their wish for love, however, is suppressed. They can constantly detect and address individuals resonating with them at a sexual level. The number of resonating people is – compared to the apparent selection of women – much higher, because the sexual level contains many more possible candidates than the romantic level. Men, however, due to their suppression of the romantic level, have difficulties to recognise people resonating at that level, or to communicate their interest in an empathic way. In this system, men have higher chances of success to realise their sexual wishes if they interact with their potential sex partners through romantic activities like kissing, caressing or cuddling, thereby activating the romantic level. Because for the social role „woman”, the romantic level must have been switched to „on” to unlock the erotic level.
Thus, on the highscore list of the patriarchal falsehood, individuals who have taken on the social role „woman”,
generally get the short end of the stick: As a consequence, if a woman agrees to a sexual interaction, the man at least gets the fulfilment of his wish for sex. The woman gets neither one nor the other, since her focus lies on the fulfilment of her emotional wishes at the romantic level, which was never on the table, due to the “empty” activities of the man.
If we take a step back, however, both social roles lose:
- Because of course, women desire love and sex.
- And of course men desire sex and love.
In reality, both have wishes for a combined romantic and sexual level (= falling in love/romantic relationship), and for a purely erotic level (= casual sex). Played like this, in the end nobody gets what they wanted. And so the patriarchal falsehood chronifies itself.